I’ve been reading and watching everything that’s in the media about the protests. I’ve read about, not watched, the multiple instances of police brutality that sparked these protests. I’ve read the responses from my friends on social media as well as people in power and celebrities. I’ve had discussions with my husband and my sister and I’ve been trying to process everything. What I’m left with is a mixture of emotions. For one I was overrun with sadness when I read about the death of George Floyd. I couldn’t bring myself to watch the video, knowing that at the end someone is dead. Gone. Their life is no longer on this earth. It’s not like a movie where someone is going to yell cut and he’ll get back up dusting off his clothes. Someone made the choice to act in a way that would kill another human being. That’s not a video I want in my memory and I feel for others who are mentally affected by it. That is my choice but it doesn’t mean I’m any less disturbed or upset by what happened.
Some days I find myself angry. Unable to focus on anything no matter how much I tried because everything keeps playing over and over in my head. Those are the days I know I need to turn off all social media and find an outlet (Warzone is great for that). There are some days when I feel in a big way that I’m in a country where I’m the minority. I can go weeks without seeing another person that looks like me. That’s new for me after living in Barbados and New York. It’s not exactly a scared feeling but it’s one that makes it easy to stay home all the time. Other days I find myself searching for new petitions to sign and information to share. Anything to make a difference. For me that seems to quell my anger in a productive way so here is the link I’ve been using.
It has all the ways you can do something in whatever way you can. Sign a petition if you can’t donate. If you don’t feel comfortable protesting and marching text or call to put pressure on those in power to bring about justice. If you want to go out and march all the information you need is there. There is really no excuse for anyone to not do something.
The sad thing is that in a couple weeks when the new atrocity of the world takes over headlines, the root of this issue will still be there. It’s important that as we find a new form of normal, we integrate educating ourselves, calling out racist remarks around us and looking out for others into that new normal. It’s easy for us to be distracted based on what the news reports on but it’s our job to remind them that this issue is still important.
I couldn’t watch the video all the way either. I’ve been avoiding the news and social media lately too. Been focused on writing and exercising as a distraction from things that make me sad. RIP George Floyd. So sorry for his family.
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