Getting Back to Normal

So it’s been about another 2 weeks since my last post. My birthday came and went and I did absolutely nothing. I wasn’t in the mood to celebrate anything so I stayed in bed and watched Netflix and other movies. It was a really relaxing day of ignoring everything and staying in denial. I did do laundry though, 3 weeks worth of it. The rest of the week went by in a blur as I prepared to go home. I made sure to get a whole lot of work out the way so that I wouldn’t be too far behind when I got back. 

Going home was surreal. That’s the only way I can put it. I had been telling myself that I’ll be home at Christmas. I had a whole countdown going on in my head and I had begun to picture everything for going home for Christmas from the drive home and who I would see when I got home. Family and friends of course but a big part was seeing my Granny. When I left home in January it was in such a rush and I didn’t really get to say goodbyes properly to some people so this was the chance to do that. But I went home 7 weeks early and it felt weird. First of all, I didn’t sleep the Thursday night so that threw me off once I got home. Robert and his fam jam were on my flight as well but I slept for most of the flight as usual. I didn’t even make it through take off which was a relief seeing as I get super duper light headed during take off. By the time Saturday came I had no idea what day it was and my sleeping schedule was all messed up. 

Once I got home everything was starting to sink in. I tried to ignore it for most of the time there but on Saturday night I had a massive stress headache from ignoring everything. I don’t even want to describe the next couple days. It’s a funeral, what do you expect. So yea, that happened and there was lots of food and stories to be told afterwards. I did manage to get in some xbox on Monday night which was good. My cousin Brianna caught onto Blur pretty quickly so playing with her was fun. I started to fall asleep in the last race we played so I came in last. I don’t even know how I was playing and falling asleep. Usually playing keeps me awake. 

By the time I had to leave it felt like I had been home forever. I didn’t get to go to the beach since it rained for 2 days straight but it still felt like a full trip. One thing that bugs me is now that I’m back everyone keeps asking me how the trip was. Am I supposed to say “it was great burying my Grandmother, thank you” or do I say “it was horrible being back home and seeing all my family”. At first I would completely ignore the question and just smile back and change the subject. Now I’ve resolved to just saying it was a good service. The end. In a way I would just like people to stop asking and just get on with it. Pretending things never happened is my specialty and I am so good at lying to myself so let’s try to stick to that. Nick says its sad that I have to keep lying to myself to get through the day but it gets the job done. I’m functioning which is the goal of it all. 

Anyways, I have about 2 weeks of work to catch up on and a presentation to prepare for. On Friday I had a great revelation. I am a nerd. I enjoy spending all those hours in the library, especially on a Friday night when everyone is out doing stuff. It’s quiet and empty and I like it that way. I got some work done and had a whole lot of coffee to stay awake and alert. Having a Starbucks in the cafeteria is a blessing and a curse. Oh, I started back doing pilates on Friday as well. I need to get in some cardio so I have to go register at the gym since I have free membership and find time to go. 

So there aren’t any pictures in this post. I wasn’t really in the mood for pictures when I went home. Now that I’m back I’m trying to get everything back to normal and take a lot of pictures 🙂

Carla 🙂

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